Thursday, January 22, 2015

Hamlet, the Vampire Slayer: Not a Mockumentary

Hamlet, the Vampire Slayer. Dir. Jason Witter. Perf. Kevin R. Elder, Leslie Nesbit, and Doug Montoya. 2008. DVD. N.s., 2011.

On the other end of the Hamlet and the Undead spectrum from Zombie Hamlet (for which, q.v.; see also Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Undead and Romeo and Juliet vs. The Living Dead) stands Hamlet, the Vampire Slayer. But I think it might as well lie back down in the coffin and have a nice rest.

I tried to enjoy this film—I genuinely made an effort—but it's so dull, awkwardly shot, and (for lack of a better term) bad that I couldn't get much out of it.

The essential plot is that Hamlet, aspiring male cheerleader, is upset at his father's death and his mother's o'er hasty marriage to Hamlet's Uncle, Enrique Claudio, who is a Vampire who only speaks Spanish. As a trope, it gets quite old quite quickly, as does the device of a vampire slayer with a mostly inexplicable Scottish accent, a Buffyesque character, two frat boys named Rosenchad and Guildenbrad, the frequent obscenities, and a rap version of the play-within-the-play.

The best (and least inappropriate) sample I can show you is the analogue to Claudius at prayer.

There you have it. Aren't you glad I watch these films in their entirety so that you don't have to?

Links: The Film at IMDB.

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Bardfilm is normally written as one word, though it can also be found under a search for "Bard Film Blog." Bardfilm is a Shakespeare blog (admittedly, one of many Shakespeare blogs), and it is dedicated to commentary on films (Shakespeare movies, The Shakespeare Movie, Shakespeare on television, Shakespeare at the cinema), plays, and other matter related to Shakespeare (allusions to Shakespeare in pop culture, quotes from Shakespeare in popular culture, quotations that come from Shakespeare, et cetera).

Unless otherwise indicated, quotations from Shakespeare's works are from the following edition:
Shakespeare, William. The Riverside Shakespeare. 2nd ed. Gen. ed. G. Blakemore Evans. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1997.
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