Double Twelfth Night Quotes in The Dick Van Dyke Show

“Big Max Calvada.” By Bill Persky and Sam Denoff. Perf. Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Sheldon Leonard, and Arthur Batanides. Dir. Jerry Paris. The Dick Van Dyke Show. Season 3, episode 9. CBS. 20 November 1963. DVD. Allied Vaughn, 2023.

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And now . . . back to our series.

In this third-season episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, Rob, Sally, and Buddy are pressured by Big Max Calvada, the local gangster, to write for his talentless nephew. 

This clip gives you the threatening approach and the reluctant (but resolute) agreement by the writers.

And then it gives you not one but two quotes from Twelfth Night:

The first is what Sebastian says to Antonio in gratitude for his help and his friendship. The extended version in the Riverside Shakespeare is

I can no other answer make but thanks,

And thanks; and ever [thanks; and] oft good turns

Are shuffled off with the uncurrent pay;

But were my worth as is my conscience firm,

You should find better dealing. (III.iii.14–18)

Note: I'm suppling the [thanks; and] to the Riverside. There's no note about this (as there would be if it were an editorial choice), and there's no quarto of the play that might give this alternate reading. Have I stumbled upon a rare typo in the Riverside?

The second (slightly-misquoted and certainly misattributed) quote is from the letter Malvolio finds in Act II. Here's how the Riverside Shakespeare puts it:

Some are [born] great, some [achieve] greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em. (II.v.145–46)

Note: Here, the editorial brackets are the Riverside's. The note attributes [born] to Rowe—F1 has "become"; [achieve] is found in F2—F1 has "atcheeues." Gesundheit.

The pin of the scene is the attribution to "Al Capone." It's a mildly-amusing way to point back to the gangster's threats.

As a final note, you may recognize the henchman from "That Which Survives," a third-season episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. As the crew's geologist he lasts two short scenes—just until the mysterious woman says, "I am for you, Lieutenant D'Amato." Then he plays a corpse for a little bit. 

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Links: The Episode at IMDB.

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